Hello world, I bike every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY and you know what? I'm quite frankly sick of sharing the road and bicycle lanes with morons. While some bikers and drivers are stellar (and I do appreciate you) there are far more nobs who can't drive or cycle and you're gonna get someone killed. YOU'VE ALREADY GOT ME PISSED OFF!
BIKERS
- Stop trying to race with cars. I hate to break it to you, you wont win and you're pissing people off. Stay the fuck in your lane.
- If you're one of the flaming bikers who simply must wear spandex and try and act cool by blowing by people carrying a knapsack full of stuff, do us all a favor and cycle off a bridge into the next river. Wearing that spandex isn't helping you any. You already paid over 2 grand on your ultra light weight bike so why don't you spend a little gas money and drive to a place where you can bike without people slowing you down.
- Know your hand signals. REALLY its not hard there are only three of them and really you only need to know two. Here I'll make your life easier and link you to a Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_signals.
- Slow moving bikers - although this may sound hypocritical to point number 2, if you're really slow or dying after biking up that steep hill, get off your bike and walk. Get off and out of the bike lane. DO NOT force me to go around you. DO NOT hold up everyone behind you. DO NOT look over your shoulder acknowledge I'm trying to pass you and keep on waddle biking.
DRIVERS
- Stay in your own lane. When there is no bike lane, cyclists are entitled to an ENTIRE lane, now seeing as how I'm not a douche, I stay to the side but GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN ROOM! I don't want to fear for my life as you zip by me.
- STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE. I think this needs to be said twice, honestly if there is a bike lane, don't drive into it. I shouldn't be able to punch your mirror or have to slowdown to stop from rear ending you. It's incredibly frustrating. Just stay in your damn lane.
- SLOW DOWN. Ok that is not to say drive slowly but when you're driving past a biker, slow down and give some room. You're in a metal vehicle. I'm on an un-shielded bike, if you hit me, I will likely die. You taking your foot off the gas for a few seconds wont slow you down that much but it could be difference of someone living and dieing.
- Turn indicators! USE THEM. God, its not that hard to flip a switch or lever, so do it. Don't just frigging pull in front of me last minute. Urgh!
- DON'T HONK! you're likely going to startle a biker into oncoming traffic. AND you'll probably see us flipping you off for it. If you're honking you're probably half in the wrong.
- Turn your music down. No we don't share your taste in country music.
MOTORCYCLISTS
- Motorcycles are bad ass but:
- Don't ride one that has a essentially non existent muffler. Your bike doesn't have to be loud to be cool. In fact when they're super noisy, you're kinda a douche-bag and no one likes you.
- Keep it classy...
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