Dickhead drivers & bimbo bikers

Dear drivers and bikers, this is a PSA!

Hello world, I bike every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY and you know what? I'm quite frankly sick of sharing the road and bicycle lanes with morons. While some bikers and drivers are stellar (and I do appreciate you) there are far more nobs who can't drive or cycle and you're gonna get someone killed. YOU'VE ALREADY GOT ME PISSED OFF!

BIKERS

1. Stop trying to race with cars. I hate to break it to you, you wont win and you're pissing people off. Stay the fuck in your lane. 
2. If you're one of the flaming bikers who simply must wear spandex and try and act cool by blowing by people carrying a knapsack full of stuff, do us all a favor and cycle off a bridge into the next river. Wearing that spandex isn't helping you any. You already paid over 2 grand on your ultra light weight bike so why don't you spend a little gas money and drive to a place where you can bike without people slowing you down.
3. Know your hand signals. REALLY its not hard there are only three of them and really you only need to know two. Here I'll make your life easier and link you to a Wikipedia article  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_signals.
4. Slow moving bikers - although this may sound hypocritical to point number 2, if you're really slow or dying after biking up that steep hill, get off your bike and walk. Get off and out of the bike lane. DO NOT force me to go around you. DO NOT hold up everyone behind you. DO NOT look over your shoulder acknowledge I'm trying to pass you and keep on waddle biking.

DRIVERS

1. Stay in your own lane. When there is no bike lane, cyclists are entitled to an ENTIRE lane, now seeing as how I'm not a douche, I stay to the side but GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN ROOM! I don't want to fear for my life as you zip by me.
2. STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE. I think this needs to be said twice, honestly if there is a bike lane, don't drive into it. I shouldn't be able to punch your mirror or have to slowdown to stop from rear ending you. It's incredibly frustrating. Just stay in your damn lane.
3. SLOW DOWN. Ok that is not to say drive slowly but when you're driving past a biker, slow down and give some room. You're in a metal vehicle. I'm on an un-shielded bike, if you hit me, I will likely die. You taking your foot off the gas for a few seconds wont slow you down that much but it could be difference of someone living and dieing.
4. Turn indicators! USE THEM. God, its not that hard to flip a switch or lever, so do it. Don't just frigging pull in front of me last minute. Urgh!
5. DON'T HONK! you're likely going to startle a biker into oncoming traffic. AND you'll probably see us flipping you off for it. If you're honking you're probably half in the wrong.
6. Turn your music down. No we don't share your taste in country music.

MOTORCYCLISTS

1. Motorcycles are bad ass but:
• Don't ride one that has a essentially non existent muffler. Your bike doesn't have to be loud to be cool. In fact when they're super noisy, you're kinda a douche-bag and no one likes you.
• Keep it classy...

Pinterest Pinning nincompoops in business

Sigh....

If you don't already know what Pinterest is, I envy you. Just stop reading now. Unless you're hungry for idiot knowledge, Pinterest is yet another goddamn social networking nightmare where "people" "share" things of "interest"... or rather they "pin" them to board or whatever you want to call it. Its just another stupid things for stupid people to invest and waste their time on.

What really blows my mind is that apparently some business feel they should pay someone to create a pinterest account for them. Seriously?!

Let me break this down for the business people who really think social networks are going to make you wonderful amounts of busines - they're not. Let me explain further, if your business creates some social network here's whats going to happen

• 30% of people are going to completely ignore you regardless of what you do
• 30% of people may fake interest if there is a contest you're holding where you may win something cool (and then drop you right after)
• 10% of people will sign up to spam you or the other morons who signed up
• 10% of people will sign up out of loyalty (eg people you know trying to be supportive of your stupid ventrue)
• 10% of people will sign up and then say "Bren I respect your company but I really dont care about what it's doing on facebook how do I disable this"

and finally

• the last 10% other marketer who think this is a great idea (WRONG!) and want to see what other businesses are doing.

You see the thing is, the general public really doesn't give a crap what a business is doing; unless its doing something for them specifically. Example: some hippies wanting to see a company is going green, or people wanting free shit, but at the end of the day it doesn't really earn the business anything. All it does is cost them. Not only do they have to employ some nincompoop to update the social networks and keep it semi active but if they want to get more followers they're gonna have to give some stuff away.

Again this is referring to businesses using social networks. I wouldn't care about Microsoft (the company's blog) but I may read Steve Balmer's personal blog.

Marketers and business people, stop fooling yourselves and other businesses, here's a better approach spend the time and money you'd be wasting on silly campaigns by investing in better products for your customers (like me). You'd be amazed that customers actually prefer better products over haring about your office mini-putt and other nonsense.